Here's the top 5 apps for couples reviewed side-by-side, all together – the best relationship apps. And below the top 5 table we briefly review some other apps for couples too: Kahnoodle, Tokii, LoveByte, MyDarling, SimplyUs, BroApp, Feel Me, Icebreak, The 5 Love Languages, Gottman Apps/Love Maps, Fix a Fight, WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, HeyTell, and Duet. Full disclosure: we are the developers of the awesome togethr app. Did we miss your favourite? Let us know!
| togethr | Couple | Avocado | Between | You & Me | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Connects two people only | |||||
| Chat, with emoji | |||||
| Shared lists, Reminders for important dates |
|||||
| An extra calendar to update | |||||
| Messages and content are protected with strong encryption | |||||
| Innovative features to help improve your relationship on an on-going basis | |||||
| Personalised suggestions and prompts | |||||
| Gift ideas and special deals | |||||
| Cost | Free (with optional add-ons) |
In-app purchases | In-app purchases | In-app purchases | tbc |
| Our rating | |||||
| Other comments | The quickest app to start up, smallest download size, and has a painless sign up process too. The best app for couples! Download now! |
Lots of gimmicks, like drawing pictures simultaneously – though not all are benign, for example the GPS tracking feature may be a little worrying | Very similar to Couple, though a little odd – more artistic, over-uses the word "boo" | Users complain about things like having to manually re-send messages when the reception is bad, not knowing when a message is delivered, etc. Hosted in South Korea | Beautiful interface, as you would expect from the popular free dating service for singles, HowAboutWe – mainly built around photos and audio |
Also reviewed:
- Apps for couples:
- Kahnoodle – turns your relationship into a game where you can earn points to gain coupons – though research has shown this is not a good idea – see the note on 'gamification' below (iPhone only)
- Tokii – set your mood and trade favours – similar pitfalls to Kahnoodle – see the note on 'gamification' below
- LoveByte – hyper-cutesy messaging, based in Singapore
- MyDarling – hyper-cutesy anime-style homescreen widget
- SimplyUs – shared calendar and 'to do' list, functional but pretty basic (iPhone only)
- BroApp – schedule romantic texts to your partner so you can spend more time with your bros uninterrupted – this is such an awful idea, don't even know where to begin!
- Feel Me – gives the feeling of physical touch when you are not together – due out soon (iPhone only)
- Icebreak – questions designed to spark conversation ($1.99, iPhone only)
- The 5 Love Languages – lets you take a profiling test, the app is not implemented very well though – get the book instead!
- Gottman Apps – a collection of apps: Give Appreciation, Fun and Play, Expressing Needs, and so on (iPhone only)
- Kindu – compare how you and your partner feel about a list of sex ideas ($1.99)
- Fix a Fight – helps you to find a solution ($4.99, iPhone only)
- Related apps:
- WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger and Snapchat replace SMS texting
- HeyTell – voice messenger, like a limited version of WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger
- Duet – good for arranging meet ups when dating – not great for established couples though as it's not exclusive / private to two users (iPhone only)
But really, the best is togethr – download it now!
Did we miss your favourite app? Let us know!
Why not use an app that turns our relationship into a game?
We had the same idea – you could set targets for your partner, earn points towards coupons, and so on. And some of the apps above have included this feature.
Obviously it's great to make your relationship fun, but we realised that this 'gamification' of your most important relationship actually ends up having the opposite effect of what was intended – reducing generosity and co-operation, and increasing self-interest and unhealthy competition.
For example, see the following extract from a BBC article reporting on some recent research published in the journal PNAS:
introducing an incentive makes people less likely to share than they did before … even tokens with no monetary value completely changed the way in which people helped each other …
The team devised an experiment where subjects in small and large groups had the option to give gifts in exchange for tokens.
They found that there was a social cost to introducing this incentive. When all tokens were "spent", a potential gift-giver was less likely to help than they had been in a setting where tokens had not yet been introduced.
The same effect was found in smaller groups, who were less generous when there was the option of receiving a token.
"Subjects basically latched on to monetary exchange, and stopped helping unless they received immediate compensation in a form of an intrinsically worthless object [a token] …
"The really interesting finding in the study is that tokens change the behavioural foundations of co-operation, from generosity in the absence of the tokens, to self-interest when tokens are present."
"It's striking that once tokens become available, people generally do not help others except in return for a token."
… it is evidence for an already observed phenomenon called "motivational crowding out", where paying an individual to do a task which they had already planned to do free of charge, could lead people to do this less".
Or see another article in the Huffington Post reporting on comments by some prominent Psychologists:
"gamifying" one's relationship may seem like a positive (albeit unique) way to reconnect with one's partner, not everyone is on board … rewarding one partner for "filling the love tank" of the other could produce an unhealthy "exchange mentality" within the couple.
"You can't substitute gamification for those core things people strive for," …